Train hits the trainwreck

What..have...I...done...or not done...to deserve this shit. So I convert my surviving drive to NTFS. ZoneAlarm doesn't like this in ways that are way too technical to go on about here. So I figure, I have my shiny new 1.5 Terabyte external drive, so I'm safe to low level format this sucker and start from scratch, yet again. So I re-install my new copy of Corporate Xp Pro sp3 with Windows Genuine Advantage hacks...well now..the WGA hacks don't seem to work. Now Windows Update knows I don't have a good copy. WHY!?!?!?! How can a reinstall change what was already in place? Why would it not bitch at me an hour beforehand when I did an update before deciding to wipe the HD? And on top of that, despite my love of IE7, it won't work with a website that I am (for now) FORCED to use (AND that's a post for later), thus forcing me to use FireFucksFox. So now the quest of finding a new copy of XP to download that can subvert the WGA.

Oh, and just before finishing this post, I've discovered my sound card isn't installed...peachy.